You Matter

YOU DO MATTER! Those three words are all that I keep hearing at this point. It's weird because today I'm celebrating with one of my friends (my SISTA) daughters (my NIECE) 14th birthday. The love that a mother has for their child, the bond that is shared, is unlike any other relationship. The Bible instructs us to honor thy mother and thy father so that thy days may be long on the earth. Sitting in the car on the way home from church and I began to reflect on the relationship that I have with my mother and my father. When did that special bond change to the point where we are at now? When did I, as their child, stop mattering to them. The void felt from not having them present, concerned, and INVOLVED in my life (yes they are both alive), has been something that has been filled by temporary pleasures and inappropriate/mishandled relationships. Kelly Price sings..."I need a healing for my soul...". Lord I need a healing! So many tears have been shed because things are just NOT the perfect picture I see or imagine what a family should be. Attempts to change it constantly and parts of me are TIRED of trying.

The sun rises and the sun sets and thoughts of you cross this mind. Why? We aren't exclusive, we haven't made that statement that we are moving forward with one another; yet, you are constantly on the brain. I refuse to catch feelings for someone so soon and appear to be this, this emotional basket case of a woman. 29 years old and it appears that my life is slowly ticking away. One of the "easiest" things in life (maintaining relationships) is actually the hardest. I see so many successful men and women who are single...and then there are those who are moving forward in life together as one. The latter is my greatest desire. We've all dreamed of meeting the right one, connecting, and then eventually spending eternity with one person...well I have and my dream is slowly fading away. Is it possible? Everyone says when you aren't looking then it will happen...so I digress, I'll wait. I just want to scream out sometimes --- GOD, have you forgotten about me? Remember me, I'm still here. "Savior, do not pass me by". Valentines Day 2010 is on Sunday, three days away and it looks like I'll be spending yet another day alone. Not bitter, not hating, but it would be nice for just once to have someone acknowledge that I exist and that I too am in their hearts on this date that has been created to honor "love". Well that is all... Until next time...I will remain patient.