Me? A Rebel Child....

It's been a little while since I've written on this blog. I contemplated writing in the wee hours of the morning, but was engrossed in viewing dresses on Rent the Runway that I knew I wasn't and am not going to get. Two major events coming up and I'm not nearly prepared as I would like to be. Anyway, enough with the rambling...lets get to the reason why I actually started writing at this moment.

A few minutes ago, I came across this shirt on Pinterest and I thought about my childhood (and probably some of my actions as a thirty-something year-old adult...okay, those who know me, know I'm 33).I wasn't a "bad" child who needed a lot of "disciplining" and really can't recall getting whipped, beaten, or spanked at all (I'm sure my mom or aunts can confirm or counter this statement). There is only one occurrence that I actually remember, and I was a teenager at that time. I had a very smart mouth and didn't know when to shut up.

Anyway, as I looked at this shirt, I remember some of the things that I used to do in youth group that my peers wouldn't do. I was downright bold. I had a reasonable respect for authority (our leaders), but there were times when, my mouth would get me in trouble. If I didn't like you, I didn't feel I had to listen, simply put. 

I'm probably going to regret sharing this, but not really, it's my past, my story, my journey to where I am today. I remember an outing with some friends at church. We were going to the movies and a friend's mother was coming with us. I can't remember how old we were at the time, but it was a chaperoned event. The girls and I conspired a way to have her mom take us; yet, innocently meet some of our friends from another youth group that we would have Bible Study with. When they showed up, we acted surprised (deceitful) to see them. From the look on her face, you really wouldn't have been able to distinguish if she bought into our story or saw the plot and scheme right away. 

I have many more stories that I can tell, but I'm not quite ready to release them all...in due time. I can say that I once I got a divine revelation of 1 Samuel 15:22 (For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry) things started to change in my life...and I'm still growing and evolving daily.

Until next time... 
xoxo

The Uplifting...

Everyone needs to be uplifted and encouraged through the battles, trials, obstacles, and circumstances that come up on a daily basis. These songs helped carry me through. These songs helped remind me who I am in Him. These songs took me back to the basics, back to the core of who I am and WHO I represent.

10) The Gift ~ Donald Lawrence 

9) Perfect People - Wall Group 

8) Nothing Without You - Jason Nelson

7) A Little More Jesus - Erica Campbell

6) Faith to Believe - Sheri Jones-Moffett

5) Finish Strong - Jonathan Nelson 

4) Speechless - Anita Wilson 

3) Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United 

2) Withholding Nothing - William McDowell

1) Here in Our Praise - United Tenors 

My Love Affair with Music - 2013 Edition

Music is my therapy. It speaks to me. It moves me. It inspires me. It calms me down or hypes me up. I can laugh to music. I can cry with music. Music is simply, everything. Without music this world would be an empty place. Here are the songs that I had a love affair with, 2013 edition. 

30) Started from the Bottom - Drake 

29) Meant to Be - TLC 

28) Love More - Chris Brown ft. Nicki Minaj

27) Back to Black - Beyonce ft. Andre 3000

26) Body Party - Ciara

25) V.S.O.P - K Michelle

24) If We Had Your Eyes - Michelle Williams

23) Hold On, We're Going Home - Drake

 

22)  Dirty Laundry - Kelly Rowland 

21) Clean This House - Isaac Carree

20) Roar - Katy Perry

19) I Can't Describe - Jennifer Hudson ft. T.I. 

18) Without You - Fantasia ft. Kelly Rowland & Missy Elliott

17) Love & War - Tamar Braxton 

16) It Won't Stop - Sevyn Streeter ft. Chris Brown

15) On the Run (Part II) - Jay Z ft. Beyonce

14) Poetic Justice - Kendrick Lamar 

13) Couple of Forevers - Chrisette Michelle

12) Cocoa Butter - India Arie

11) Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

10) Hurt You - Toni Braxton & Babyface

9)  Don't Kill My Vibe - Kendrick Lamar

8) Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

7)  Electric Lady - Janelle Monae

6) Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell

5) He Turned It - Tye Tribbett

4) Suit & Tie - Justin Timberlake ft. Jay Z

3) Part II (On the Run) - Jay Z ft. Beyonce

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2) XO - Beyonce

1) Holy Grail - Jay Z ft. Justin Timberlake 

BONUS FAVORITES: 

*These track didn't make the top 30; however, they were (are) in heavy rotation this year...and I simply love all of Beyonce's album, she could have had all top ten spots, buuuut that wouldn't be fair to the other music that I loved over the year*

Turnt - The Dream ft. Beyonce & 2 Chainz

Drunk in Love - Beyonce ft. Jay Z

Naive - Solange ft. Beyonce & Da Brat

40 before 40

So I was inspired to complete this list while it was on the brain…I can’t believe I actually came up with 40 things… anyway, here it is….

40 Before 40 

1) Visit five continents – Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, South America
2) Become a Senior Team Leader w/ Tastefully Simple
3) Go Sky Diving
4) Drive cross country
5) Go skiing in Colorado
6) Go to Napa Valley
7) Run a 5K
8) Run a 10K
9) Run a half marathon
10) Get a lower back tattoo
11) Get a belly piercing
12) Attend a midnight movie premiere
13) Reestablish a retirement fund
14) Become a certified life coach and get paid for it
15) Take a pole-dancing class
16) Take a belly-dancing class
17) Maintain my goal weight (125-135)
18) To truly work for myself – (to bring in a substantial livable income that affords me the life I dream about)
19) Write two or three books
20) Go to a professional sporting event (Cowboys~ Football, Heat ~ Basketball)
21) Cook every night for 30 days
22) Send an encouraging card/letter to someone different every week
23) Give a waitress/waiter a 100% tip
24) Buy Christmas gifts for a needy family @ Christmas
25) Sponsor a high school seniors final year costs (yearbook, pictures, class ring & prom)
26) Get married
27) Become a mom
28) Go white-water rafting
29) Go vegetarian or vegan for 30 days
30) Complete a vacation scrapbook
31) Be completely debt free
32) Get paid to travel
33) Learn another language (Spanish preferably)
34) Get a dog
35) Purchase a house
36) Attend Essence Festival
37) Become a couponing guru (save where I can so I can spend what I want)
38) Watch Roots, Queen, and The Color Purple in their entirety
39) Make a list of 50 things I will complete before 50
40) Dine & Wine with some of my favorite people in exotic locations

MOOVEEEEEEE

Ever feel like writing, singing, or doing something to release the thoughts and feelings that are running around at lightening speed in your mind...well that is me right now. At work and have so many, what would appear to be random, thoughts taking me from one place to the next, from one side of the coin to the other.

Worried, yeah I guess I am....thinking about things that without movement causes a constant repeat, broken record much - YEP!  THIS is what worry does. Worry causes you to lump everything into one group consuming you from getting what needs to be done. He's got it covered right??? Right? So then why worry --- is it a lack of faith? Is it a lack of expectation? Who knows...But I do know that I don't have all the answers that is for sure.

Just a brief rant --- NO WORRY FELICIA!!!!!!!!!! (or anyone) He's got us covered! TRUST him. Don't turn your back! It's only Day 3 of the the new year!

In closing - don't carry last years failures and problems into this year - work smarter, be smarter, and more importantly MOVEEEEEE!

Randomness --- written 11/3/2010

Transparency, realness, troubles of the past that creep into today.

Uncertainties, insecurities, feelings that have been put at bay

Wondering when the tide will change, when the course will lead

To days and nights where my heart no longer bleeds

To be wanted, to be needed, to arrive at the after....

Trying to consume myself with the love of the Master

Going around in circles pleading for a means of escape

wondering if and dwelling in the fact that this is my fate

....Random Thoughts....grieving

Emotions and thoughts all over the place....from the good memories to the those moments that I actually regret. Some would say count it a privilege that I knew this moment was coming, and while I did (and do), how do you adequately prepare for the death of a loved one. My grandmother was my rock. There are so many unfulfilled dreams that I wanted my grandmother to witness and now she will not physically be able to. Yeah that's a tough pill to swallow when your major support system is no longer with you. My desire is to please her and to live a life that she would have been proud of.

Pauline James - you will forever be in my heart and I'm taking you with me everywhere I go. Although you are physically gone, there shall come a time when we will be together again. For now, it hurts VERY deeply. I want you HERE but free from the pain/suffering. I know where you are and I know you're looking down on us all. Honestly, there are some moments that are easier than others. I'm still able to laugh, yet it seems like those moments are few and far between.

Well....that's it for now. Until next time....

xoxo Grandma xoxo