...Real Life BreakAway

Journeying through life, you never know what obstacle you are going to have to overcome and deal with. My life has had its share of ups and downs and I've never quite understood the purpose of each battle. For every step forward something else would appear in front me. Some situations were self-created; while others I don't know how in the world they appeared. To be transparent and open to you the readers of this blog, I am dealing with life and all that comes the best way possible. For me to have been a woman who constantly said I would not be the other woman or catch feelings for a married man, I found myself walking that path. I never thought that I could develop such deep feelings for someone who was in covenant with another person. Innocent conversations, innocent interactions, yet we found ourselves drawing closer and closer to one another; all the while knowing it was wrong. AGAIN I SAY....I KNEW IT WAS WRONG, yet I still got caught up in the moment! The feelings that were developing were out of place and out of order! Everything I thought about marriage, about relationships, my entire belief system was questioned. I was drawing someone closer to me and away from their wife! How in the world could I be that person? Ashamed of myself there was no peace, yet I continued to move forward with it. I proclaim to be a Christian...I proclaim to have good morals and conviction on what to do and what not to do, yet there was a point where I just didn't care. I didn't care what anyone thought of me, I was going to have my way and suffer the consequences later. I was ready to walk the path of whatever became of this relationship, so shall it be. Well, the truth of the matter is, I could not move forward, nor could he, and walk in excellence in ministry and be citizens of the kingdom with hidden sins and baggage. There were too many variables, too many things to consider in walking forward, that neither of us could or would be willing to jeopardize. So...a decision had to be made to breakaway! We had to breakaway quick fast and in a hurry from a situation that no matter how it ended would not end positively for anyone involved. We had to breakaway before it became out of control and more difficult on either of us. Ladies and Gentleman, whomever is reading this, I'm not sharing this to be chastised and condemned, but to share a piece of my heart, a piece of my life with you. The relationship is over. I have encouraged him to pour everything that he was pouring into me into his wife...to rebuild whatever is lacking there. I believe 100% in the covenant of marriage and the power of healthy relationships. I believe in the power of reconciliation and restoration. I know that one day I will be a great wife, a great companion, a great life-mate and partner to the one God sends for me. I will not be anyones 2nd choice, no ones sideline hoe, no ones other woman. Honestly, I loved and love him right now and just as those feelings emerged over time, only time will heal the hurt that is now felt. God's best is yet to come....so I will wait and not entertain someone whom I know I could never have.